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Funny Stories For Adults
MateMatch

 

On the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago, the DJs play a game called "MateMatch". Here are the rules.

The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked three random yet highly personal questions. Their partner is then called and asked the same three questions. If he/she gives the same answers to all three questions, they both win the prizes. Simple.

This is what happened on one of these games.

DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of MateMatch?"

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Contestant laughing: "Yes, I have."
DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please."
Contestant: "Brian."
DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"
Brian: "Yes."
DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"
Brian laughing nervously: "Yes, I am married."
DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."
Brian: "Sarah."
DJ: "Is Sarah at work, Brian?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"
Brian laughing: "Yes, she's at work."
DJ: "Ok, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"
Brian: "She is gonna kill me."
DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!"
Brian: "About eight o'clock this morning."
DJ: "Ah huh boy, Brian."
Brian laughing sheepishly: "Well..."
DJ: "Question two - how long did it last?"
Brian: "About ten minutes."
DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."
Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."
DJ: "Ok. Final question. Where did you have sex at eight o'clock this morning?"
Brian laughing hard: "I, ummm, I, well..."
DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"
Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."
DJ: "Uh huh..."
Brian: "...and the mother-in-law was in the shower at the time."
DJ: "Ah huh boy, Brian."
Brian: "On the kitchen table."
DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Ok folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."

Three minutes of commercials follow.

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DJ: "Ok audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?"

Sounds of touch tones and ringing follows

Clerk: "Kinkos."
DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?"
Clerk: "This is she."
DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."
Sarah laughing: "A couple of hours?"
DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. So... do you know the rules of MateMatch?"
Sarah: "No."
DJ: "Good!"
Brian laughing
Sarah laughing: "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"
Brian laughing: "Just answer his questions honestly, Ok? Be completely honest."
DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you three questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for five days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?"
Sarah laughing: "Yes."
DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Oh God, Brian.... Uh, this morning before Brian went to work."
DJ: "What time?"
Sarah: "Around eight this morning."
DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"
Sarah: "Twelve, fifteen minutes maybe."
DJ: "Hmm… That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?"
Sarah laughing: "Yes."
DJ: "Where did you have it?"
Sarah: "Oh My God, Brian!! You didn't tell them that, did you?"
Brian: "Just tell him, honey."
DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?"
Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing with us and..."
DJ: Come on Sarah... Where did you have it?
Sarah: "In the ass..."

After a long pause
DJ: "Folks, we need to take a station break!"

 

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